Operation Chicken Salad

I know this whole experience is a time to embark on  an adventure and discover things about myself... As I sit here in my apt that smells like a mixture of eggs, chicken and a slight hint of sweet pickle I have come to one conclusion about myself..I cannot by any means cook, open a can good or mix ingredients together.. well in New Hamster at least.. or should I call it my new term that my first friend Alex taught me.. Nude Hamster. The past few days have been emotional and full of some adventure as well... Mom and I enjoyed her last few days here by going to the grocery store, target and Wal-Mart to get me settled before she left.. I cried my eyes out leaving the airport yesterday and miss her and my dad so much already. Not to mention them being gone has made me miss Brooke more.. (told ya I wrote about you) The reality of me really being 23 hours from everyone sunk in last night as I attempted to sleep in this apartment alone...which surprisingly was a success.. I got up at 5 this morning worked out at my new getaway Planet Fitness and worked from 9-4... Words can't describe how great it was to have mom up here for a week..we got to bond and it was so comforting having her here.. I cant wait for her and Aunt Laurie to come see me in the Fall.. maybe by then I will be somewhat of a local and know all the wicked places to check out.. Even though yesterday was a sad day, seeing my mom off who had an airport experience like no other.. consisting of stalling the flight taking weight off, returning back to gates to make flight leave 2 hours late and having a long layover in ATL..she finally made it home!! I had adventures of my own yesterday as I was given a tour from my first real life New Hamster friend Alex.. who I work with... even though he says he is a born and raised New Englander.don't let him fool you.. I came back from the tour of the town of Durham, Lee and Portsmouth still full of questions with no answers as Alex's common answer to everything was "I dunno.. and I never tried that before.. I mean Alex come on you are from Mass and haven't even had lobster? yep. that just happened called you out to all the kinfolk down in the South.. don't worry yall it will make me feel atleast a little bit more Northern than him for a second..All in all I give the tour 5 stars.. We went to a local state park that was absolutely stunning.. filled with forest, prairies and walked out straight to the river, I got to touch the Atlantic Ocean? for the first time and even got to go off the coast on the beach where I was granola and climbed on the rocks as rats..yes rats.. and fish jumped out at me... I even got to see a breath taking (like myself) ha sunset and got to see back roads and was yet reminded again about how small Durham really is and finished the night off at dinner at Red Hook brewery where I was too embarrassed to embrace my beer allergy and struggled through having a few swigs of brewskey.. but my turkey pita was divine..it was a fun night!...I am so fortunate to actually have a nice person up here to hang out with.. he is one of the few Yankees that doesn't look at you like you are on drugs for smiling at them or offering to open the door.. which leads me to my next section of this blog.. I will title it the things I have learned about Nude Hamster:
1. Never say mam or sir... you will get the eat you know what and die look
2. Pizzerias are a common eatery up here.. I am talking like I counted 10 in a 5 mile radius.
3. The town of Durham closes at 6pm
4. It is the law to recycle.... you must obey or you could get arrested..
5. No texting and driving.. you will get locked up no joke
6. The only place you can buy liquor is at a state store.. but bright side its an outlet so prices are cheaper.
7. Try not to smile too much.. Yankees will think you are up to something and more than likely frown back at you
8. learn how to use the term wicked... it makes you blend in
9. girls enjoy their shorts super short and tshirts rather snug.. my t shirts make me look like a hobo to them
10. jorts..that is right jorts are accepted up here along with cell phone clips.. which leads me to my next #
11. everyone can stop bashing me for dating Jersey shore jorts freshman year.. he was nearly just showing off northern fashion to the south
12. good luck finding your way around any part of this state.. i get lost 99.9% of the time
13. round-abouts are NH's bff..one on every other street
14.you will need mixing bowls in your kitchen.. so if your mom offers to buy you some for you're kitchen and you think they will not be needed they are...transferring food between skillet and Tupperware to mix ingredients make a mess and the smell of eggs and pickles to float even further into your furniture.
15. clam chowder can and will give you food poisoning ask lee lee
16. being nude is totally accepted up here and i love it
17. don't be afraid to light up in the middle of Portsmouth.. the 50 year old hippies that live there seem to do it like its human nature.
18. allergies till exist up here.take your meds.
19. I tend to have a thing for hitting curbs when I drive up here..repeatedly
20. Parking spaces up here are different..takes me 3 times each time I try to park
21. Not everyone from Durham likes UNH..weird I know
22. Frat houses are my neighbors... yay for the Fall semester
23. I have heat but no AC..good thing I like the nude
24. no matter where you are in NH you are either 20 min from the beach or mountains
25. I will more than likely die of frost bite and snow domination in the winter because from what I have heard no snow this past winter means a WICKED one coming up. solid.
26. Never clam to be from Maine...you will be hated in Hamsterland
27. Never clam the state you are from up here.. just say you are a New Englander and its understood you belong
28. The one finger salute is a popular gesture up here.. when all else fails just throw the bird...

I will stop there.. all-in-all the past weekend was great and this week seems to be starting slowly but surely.. I will close this blog by explaining the title more in detail..operation chicken salad.. As i arrived home from a long day of work at the office after realizing inventory database I have been working on for the past 4 days was last years' info, getting blister the size of mt Everest on each toe and receiving my first parking ticket.. all I wanted to do was make some of lee lee's famous chicken salad watch tv and sleep.. that was not the case.. I first attempt to boil eggs.. which thank God for the best neighbor I could ask for Ms. Coleman to be back up on that one because I almost made my apt erupt like a volcano. .cranking the eggs up to high having a half scrambled on in the pan as it leaked across the sink into the skillet.. I discovered that you only need to boil eggs for 20 min.. not 45 :)... so as I am rescuing the little chicken eggs, I get out my new food processor and am feeling pretty confident.. I am talking like Paula Dean confident.. the eggs are peeled sweet pickle check.. dash seasoning check and can chicken and can opener.. check.. everything it out ready to go all I need to do is start mixing it.. one would figure that a 21 year old would know how to open a can good.. apparently not this one.. however I blame it on the device malfunction. The dollar store can opener my mother got me not only broke on the first turn..partially due to my abnormally large muscles.. but was also a left handed can opener,,I know what you are thinking..those don't exist.. trust me they do.. anything from the dollar store is possible.. so as the can opener decides to work on and off and punch random holes into the can.. chicken juice leaks everywhere..I am talking both sinks.. my clothes phone and floor.. finally after breaking the last piece of plastic off the opener.. I say a few choice words and head to the local grocery store which is..10 miles away.. duh. As i get to the grocery store I have never heard of or been to before.. I find myself scrambling for 10 minutes to find the aisle and come to the only one offered, last can opener in stock for 14.99.. no worries.. Hannaford's took the card. Thanks Dad and Mom.. ha I get back to my apartment where I fail to park successfully in my parking lot again and am greeted by the chicken and egg flavors being embraced in my living room.kitchen and bedroom.. as I get back to the sink to attmept to open the demolished chicken can.. which I am 99% sure I have lead.

Aluminum poisoning from now.. the opener works like a charm and takes 3 seconds to open.. I successfully chopped everything up and realize I have no mixing bowls so I do a little mixing procedure that I only have attempted with a cocktail before.. the tossing pack and forth from container to container method.. it worked..Miserably.. I am talking I found egg and chicken in places I didn't think were possible while trying to cleanup..in my hair on the floor in the cabinet in the toaster on the stove.. on the couch on the coffee table.. i dunno who said chickens can't fly..because eggs sure can... I eventually said forget the chicken salad throw it in a bowl and go to my room for the febreeze to do some damage smell control.. which I ended up half way through the apt inhaling as I was spraying myself as sprayer was pointed at me.. and then trying to light a candle with no fire.. that's always fun..staring at it doesn’t do much and them attempting the last cleansing try of the apt by opening the windows..which I was later joined by Mr. Huge mosquito who probably wanted to join in on the delicious smell in my kitchen as he clung onto the fridge for his dear life I proceeded to be a ninja a kill him with my can opener receipt form the grocery store.. I think that concludes the operation for the night.. long story short.. I will be sticking to frozen foods, cereal and milk and the occasional call in/delivery.. I will put my Paula Dean skills to rest for at least a month where I will then try to attempt Mac-n.cheese which honestly sounds like a night mare at his point.. well I think Mr. huge mosquito brought his family with him as I itch my skin off writing this blog.. gotta get air somehow.. insects are our friends right? At least I won’t be sleeping alone tonight..